it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
