You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
