Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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