I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My feet surprised me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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