My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
