I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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