i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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