to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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