We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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