I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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