i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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