I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
