You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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