If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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