Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
