Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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