4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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