We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize