I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
