I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
