is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jerry, you need to find god
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
