is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
