I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
