so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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