OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize