Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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