You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
