i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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