your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
