Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.

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(806): View more from Texas

at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.

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(248): View more from Michigan

like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

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(912): View more from Georgia

you dipped you banana in queso last night.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.

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(303): View more from Colorado

2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year

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(410): View more from Maryland

Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka

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