You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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