Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
