But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
