im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
