yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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