She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
