too bad you live with your parents still
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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