you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
