theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think people are normalizing furries
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize