he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
