Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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