im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the day after is always just damage control
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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