I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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