just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
