garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
