But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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