What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
