I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
