My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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