Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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