We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
