She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
