i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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