O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
