Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
