what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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