How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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